For almost every volunteer here in Mongolia, unless you are the naturally blessed curve-less petite whose doctor asks to gain weight, there comes a time when one of your friends calls you fat. Now it is not that they are being mean, but most people here are just naturally skinny, just like the ones most hate back in America. Granted America is known for being a fat country, and I have nothing against fat people, but man it doesn’t sting any less.

            I love this country and all the experiences and people I have met, but they are blunt and don’t really grasp the concept of offensiveness. I guess I should start from the beginning…

            In high school I was pretty average, except for large boobs, which to this day I am very proud of. They have taken me far. In college I gained the freshman 15-20 but not freshman year. It kind of all began when I could drink legally. I mean the liquor adds on the pounds and then I found out I was going into the Peace Corps so I started eating my favorite foods, healthy and not. And it added up. I left for Mongolia not at my ideal weight, but my clothes still fit and I didn’t consider myself obese. Being here has been a completely different story.

            Over the summer I hiked almost everyday for hours and my clothes actually started to feel loose. I can only hope and guess I probably lost about 10 pounds, which for me was awesome! I was in a new country, eating new foods, and losing weight. What more could I ask for!

            By August I moved to my soum where I originally lived with a host family, in their house, no privacy, no kitchen. Needless to say it was awkward because my mom was antisocial, even for Mongolian standards. (For those of you not here Mongolians don’t like to ask personal questions, just polite greetings). So it went for almost 2 months with me eating bread and soup over and over and over again. On the bright side one of my teachers and I ran in the mornings everyday for about a month until it was too dark and there were too many stray dogs to ward off.

            In October I moved into my ger and things got a little better. I had my own space, could cook my own food, ect. But going from using the elliptical 3-4 times a week to nothing doesn’t help. Time continued to pass with holiday feasts and birthday fiascos but nothing changed in my new lifestyle. I used to consider myself a fairly healthy person, but now I just don’t know.

            Don’t get me wrong, I still don’t view myself as obese, but overweight yes indeed. I would say I am in the chubby yet seductively curvy phase. The one benefit is that my ass has finally come into its own.  The approaching gut and muffin top I could do without.

            That about brings us to present day. I was having kind of an awesome day because one of my teachers who never lesson plans with me came over to plan two days in a row! With great ideas too I might add. I had just added some new old pictures from high school up in my ger and we were just chatting and talking about them. This is when she commented, and I quote, “Rojo was thin in high school, but now in Mongolia Rojo is fat.” Remember Mongolians think of fat as just a descriptive word and nothing more, so I laughed along and continued to be polite, but later that evening I couldn’t watch any of my tv shows with skinny stick people in then for fear of jealousy. So of course I watched my idol on “The Mindy Project.” Needless to say she is an inspiration for all normal sized people who aren’t ridiculously naturally twigs. I’m not bitter or anything. This was the point where I knew I could go no further.

            I know what you are thinking… Rojo why don’t you just get off your fully voluptuous ass and do something about it? Three problems arise with this quest. One: most Mongolians in my soum think it is weird and odd if you run or work out in public if you are not playing a sport. Most of them don’t need to so they don’t understand. Two: I hate working out alone. It is one of my many weaknesses and I have yet to find a way to accomplish it. I have P90X and Insanity but what fun is it if you do it alone in your ger, which has no windows and is somewhat depressing when working out. Three: I have no motivation. I look in my tiny mirror where you can see one body part at a time and think why don’t I work out all the time! But then that tiny voice pops into my head saying, why bother? It’s not like you are going out clubbing tonight or like anyone is going to see you naked for another year. The evil voice of laziness also keeps chiming in that I could always just get a personal trainer when I get back to the states, but I also want to have a rockin’ bod when I get back too.

            
           So here I am reaching out to all my friends, family, and random people my family has passed my blog to, who I don’t know or don’t remember but I’m sure you are all nice people (sorry for the profanity and racy language grandma), for advice, help, or encouragement of any kind. So I need help. And real help too. I don’t mean that bullshit of “oh, you’re perfect the way you are” “you are beautiful at any size” blah blah blah. I want to be in the prime of my physical fitness when I get back to America, but I can’t seem to get past my mind to reach serenity, or something like that that sounds like an inspirational quote. 

Sincerely the blonde, blue eyed, white, Peace Corps volunteer out in pursuing her dream of going from chubby to chunky to normal, and maybe even back to backup girl at the bar in case the hot girl turns you down status for when I get back.

Rojo